I used to think life was what you make it, sounds uplifting and positive right? Well I’m here to tell you that’s not always the case and definitely not always true. Life is harder and harder everyday while fighting through the evil drowning thoughts of the lovely cycle of depression.
Since being officially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bi-polar 2 (yes, that’s a thing) and on top of that PTSD, I have come to the realization that I will most likely live with this the rest of my life. It’s a struggle, every second of every day. My mood can change within an instant and it’s actually mentally exhausting.
People are so afraid these days to come forward with their mental issues and it saddens me because I was in their shoes, I refused to get help at first, I felt like no one took me seriously, I was called numerous of names. In example, dramatic, crazy, an over thinker and of course the lovely three words I absolutely HATED to hear… “You’ll be okay”
Guys, this is not right, this is why people don’t come forward and get the help they need, this is why we have suicides, homicides, and everything in-between. We need to start teaching the young to find the power within themselves to talk about mental health issues and challenging topics like suicide without closing the door, yes its uncomfortable to have a conversation like that, but kids these days need to know and they need to know NOW. There are so many ways you can help the youth get the support they need. Yes, it involves a timely and sometimes costly ongoing treatment but you are changing a life while building connections with people who struggle as well. You just need to start by simply PAYING ATTENTION.
Check in with your friends, a simple text does wonders, pay attention to moods, and the way they talk about things. For an example, if they talk about death…even in a funny joking way… that still could be a sign they need help. Coming from myself personally, I have a huge problem when it comes to my “sick” sense of humor. Where most people don’t know if I’m serious or not… well, most of the time I am serious, in a non-threatening way of course. Am I going to end my life? No. Do I wish I was never put on this earth? Hell yeah. That’s just me, that’s my personality and I’m working on that weekly with therapy to hopefully not think like that anymore.
Most suicides come unexpected, you will hear family members say “he was so happy, I would have never thought” Or “She was just making cookies with her kids the day before”. Depression and suicidal thoughts don’t have a face. That’s why you pay attention but most of all, communicate with them.
To wrap this up I will say… I myself, 100% know how it feels. I’ve been through a lot in my 26 years of life, here’s just a few examples; contemplating suicide, growing up with without a mother i adored as she was serving my whole childhood in prison, being depressed starting in elementary where I had to see the school counselor weekly, Being tested like a lab rat with many different type of medication you can think of, I’ve been mentally and physically abused, sexually abused (several times), I’ve been used, I’ve been scammed (even by family), I’ve went through phases of drug abuse, and obviously had a child at 19 and had to grow up FAST. The list goes on and on but moral of the story is all that needs to stay in the past, I can’t let it define my future. Life’s a bitch and people in this world these days are brutal which makes it even worse for our mental sanity.
There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, I’m not fully there yet but I DO know it’s there and I’ll keep pushing and pushing to get there to come out to the other side with a new perspective on life. You want the same for yourself? Start with opening up. It’s that simple.
Focus on yourself and no one else (AND I MEAN NO ONE ELSE).
There is so much help out there. Use it before it’s too late.