Major depressive disorder is obviously not an easy thing to live with. There is nothing more painful then feeling miserable deep down within yourself mostly every single day. What’s worse? Living that way while being a single parent to a toddler. A very smart, beautiful, and amazing creation that I myself was blessed enough to create. If you know me, you’ll know how much I love and adore my daughter more than anything on this entire universe, just like every mother out there should feel. My little sassy but charming four-year-old can instantly tell when I am in one of my depressive moods and no matter how hard I try to hide it, she just knows. She can pick up on it more than anyone can, which is definitely not easy on a little toddler’s mind.
Typically, during my depressive days or what I like to call my “depressive stressing days” which just consists of me stressing about being depressed. Sounds silly, huh? Its pretty much me being impatient with myself on getting better. Which evidently is an extensive process that I wish could just happen overnight. Most days my daughter will be extra sweet and caring like her usual normal self and some days my stressing out will effect her to where she is stressing out as well. She will get super irritated, upset, and like every normal toddler does; whine. In those days I feel worse. I can’t bare the thought of my daughter who is absolutely full of love grow up with the same issues that I have been dealing with. I can honestly admit that I let her get away with a lot more because of my fear of her hating her life.
No one knows how to be a successful parent. Everyone does their parenting in their own ways, as they should. We figure out what the hell we are doing as time passes on since we don’t get an owners manual on our children. When things start getting tough and my daughter starts acting out I can easily tell the difference between her being a toddler or her being stressed out. The best thing I have learned to do in these challenging moments is simply de-stressing her. Ill make sure to focus all of my energy into helping her relax. By painting her nails, scratching her back, rubbing her head and playing with her hair. I will let her relax with me in the bathtub with bath bombs and bubbles. I basically pamper her the way I pamper myself when I am feeling the extra weight on my shoulders. Because trust me, there is nothing more upsetting than feeling her stress because of her watching me being stressed. No parent wants that. Your kids are smarter than you think and they can tell when you’re faking your smiles, hiding your tears, and especially when you are frustrated. The best thing I can think of to do is consistently remind them how much they are loved and pay more attention to how they might be feeling. Your children are your biggest fans, so keep going every extra mile you can for them because I guarantee you, they notice everything.